HAHA

VEGETABLE RAGE :D

:)

A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near you. 91:7 Psalm

A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; but it shall not come near you. 91:7 Psalm

Sad face into HAPPY!

Sad face into HAPPY!

Disappointment.  Resentment.  Expectations.  What?  Expectations.  They tell us not to have them.  Really?  When someone tells me they are going to do something, I "expect" them to follow through, right?  Is that unreasonable?  Probably not.  It's what I do when or if they don't that is the issue.  This morning.  The man friend and I were going to have a quiet night together.  No work tomorrow so it meant I could relax and truly enjoy the night.  Well I pack this morning and leave for work.  I call on my way and he informs me that he has to take a raincheck.  Really?  Is that how you refer to "change of plans"?  What I learned in the time that followed is a) I react quicker than I can think.  b) anger oozes quickly.  I had time to breath and think.  I contacted him and apologized for the way I responded (no need to post that).  I realized the truth was I was disappointed.  So, that being said I did take a deep breath and walked into work ok.  When a disappointment or rejection or (fill in the blank) leads to a resentment .......... then I have  a problem.  I can shut down really quick.  Protection mode.  How silly.  Protection from him?  No . it's not that simple.  Protection for me from me so that I'm not hounded by feelings of "see, your not good enought", or "I told you he would do this to you".  I could go on and on. 
It's ok.  I made the "amends" to him.  I am going to have a good day.  Even though I found a $120.00 mistake in my checkbook.  Talk about ouch.  Now I hope I don't panic till payday.
Economic insecurity.  I still have it.  I manage my $$ pretty well these days which is huge compared to where I was even a year ago.  I got sick of worrying right after payday.  I mean I pay my bills and live on what I have left.  Sounds easy and it is most weeks.  But a mistake that big is gonna cost me some peace. 
On another note my 6 year old car is finally paid off.  JOY!! JOY!! JOY!!.  I am so thrilled I want to do the happy dance.  I will be able to pay off a few more things even quicker with that extra money.  That makes me happy.  I should be debt free by December or there about.  With the exception of household expenses. 
Wow. 

I made another change to my renewal of my lease.  I have to make up my mind by the end of this month.  I want to renew so I can a) pay off the rest of those lingering bills and b) save enough to pay necessary costs associated w/ moving.  I should know I have moved 4 times in 7 years.  My desire was to buy a house soon.  Well that may not happen soon but staying in an apartment can.  I may renew for 7 months (they allow that without the additonal month to month expense).  That way I can look a little while saving the necessary amount to do what I need too.  THAT excites me.

How will you "spend" your day?  Filled with worry or remorse?  Making bad decisions?  I have lived that way and I will tell you this; the joy I get today as I am responsible for ME makes me happy. 

Sober living, thinking, acting.  I love it!   The sad face has turned happy!

Hey Girl, I'm sad 
I heard that you were leaving 
You can't go, you're my best friend 
I'm sure gonna miss you 
I always think about you 
All the time you're on my mind 
We played together you and I 
I can't believe that its true 
Now I have to see you leave 
You're the only one for me 
My MOTHER , my best friend 
I don't wanna see you go 
I just wanna let you know that 
I LOVE YOU.

Sometimes people come into your life & you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or help you figure out who you are & or who you want to become You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at the very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.and sometime things will happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, & unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming these obstacles that you would have never realized your true potential, strength, will power, or heartEverything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by mean of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness & sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without this small test, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe & comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.The people that you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you will become Even the bad experiences are learned from. In fact, they are the most poignant ones.If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love & how to open your heart & eyes to things.Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment & take from those moments everything you could possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before & actually listen... Let yourself fall in love again, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right too.Tell yourself that you are a great individual & believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make your life anything you wish.....Create your own life & then go out & live it with absolutely NO REGRETS. Most importantly, if you love someone tell him or her, for you NEVER know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live. Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.... Was it worth it?

THIS IS VERY COOL! :P